Bathtime Fun

Warning. This post will be about poop (again. I'm not obsessed, really).

Keira pooped. It was gross. No, this is not a new revelation, but it is the beginning of a fun evening in the bathtub. Lately, she's been hitting her butt with her hand as we change her diaper. It is really fun: a race to see who is faster-Keira with her exploring fingers or me with the wet wipes.

Well, Keira won tonight (second shitty diaper today, by the way, so I thought I was safe). Not only did she beat me to her butt, but I couldn't get to her fingers before she got her tummy as well. Who knows what else she had planned, so I quickly checked the time-yep. I still had a little over an hour before Jack would come on, not that I would let my baby sit in her poop while I watch tv. That'd be ridiculous. It was off to the tub for us.

I get Keira into the bathroom, stripped down to nothing but her socks. I go to turn on the water and see that there is bathtub cleaner (the powder kind) all over the tub. Oh! How wonderful (that isn't even sacrasm!) that Josh put cleaner in the tub. It is all nice and shiny from when he scrubbed it a few days ago, and now he's gonna keep it that way; however, it was very bad timing.

There I am, trying feverishly to keep Keira from running all over the house, naked, with poop on her hands while cleaning the tub at the same time. I managed to keep her in one place-in front of the tub. She did take this opportunity of nakedness to pee, though. Luckily, she was standing on a towel, so that really was the least of my worries. I also had Night yelling at me from the other side of the baby-gate-he wanted to take a bath too. Of course.

The actual bathtub time went well. I got Keira out first, as usual. Then I hear yelling from the bathroom, "My butt hurts!"
Me: "Do you have to poop?"
Him: "No, but I don't want to get out."
Uh. Oh.
Me: "Well, you can't poop in the tub!"
Him: "Why?"
Of course.
Me: "Because that is just gross. Do you want to go poop then get back in the tub?"
Him: "Yes."
So, he gets out and I dry him off; somehow, Keira has been diapered by this time. I'm not sure how that worked out.
Him: (as he's sitting on his tiny little toilet) "I don't want to be naked."
Me: "Do you want to get back in the tub after you poop?"
Him: "No."
My mistake.
Me: "Okay. I'll go get you some underwear."
I leave the bathroom for what, 30 seconds? Their bedroom is right next to the bathroom.
Him: "I don't want to go poop."
Me: "Huh?"
I walk in to see Keira trying to poke Night in his boy parts.

Anyone needing my address to send those Mother Of the Year Awards, just let me know...