Thursday, May 22, 2008

Wish Me Luck

The library books are due today. Here we go again!

I am taking my purse this time-with a diaper in it. Night has already locked himself in the bathroom once today (at Charlie's vet), so hopefully we won't have anymore bathroom incidences...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Mario Kart

I just want to let ya'll know that even though I am horrible at my new Mario Kart for the Wii, it does not mean I am a bad driver.

It just takes practice with the little wheel thing.

And, I can still *usually* beat Night when we are playing, so I can't be that bad at it, right?!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

To the Woman at the Gas Station

Dear Woman in the van at the gas station,

What is the purpose of your "Jesus First" license plate?

Is it to let me know that you are putting Jesus first? Is it to show me that you are following his principles and making this world a better place because of it? If so, I really don't think that Jesus appreciated your cutting off this heathen. That definitely is following the golden rule. Cutting me off from the pump when I was obviously there first DID NOT make my world a better place. It pissed me off.


Is it to remind yourself that you need to put Jesus first? If so, you really need to put it somewhere INSIDE your van so you can see it.



Monday, May 12, 2008

Happy Mother's Day to Me!

Look what I got!!

Last year, my family got me the Nintendo Wii. This year, I got the Mario Kart to go with it.

I think my husband has turned me into a nerd.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Our Trip to the Library


We live about a block from the library. Since it has been so beautiful out lately, I decided to take the kids to the library. The plan was for me to find my ONE book then go downstairs to the children's area where we could play with puzzles.

Here is how the plan played out. While I was looking for my book, the kids were at the end of my aisle looking out the window. They were standing about 2o feet from me. Loudly (or at least it seemed loud-we were in the LIBRARY), Night said, "I think Keira is pooping."

(I should have prefaced this by saying that Keira, who is potty training, was wearing underwear.)

I absently said, "Okay," without thinking about it. I then looked over to them, and sure enough, Keira was holding her butt...

I ran over and scooped her up. She yelled, "I'm not pooping! I'm not pooping!"
"It's okay, honey, we'll just check, okay?"
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not pooping. I'm not pooping!"
(I whisper, "Sorry" to the lady studying at the table and the man looking for his books.)
Night piped in, "She is pooping. She is pooping," in his loud 5 year old voice.
"You aren't? Okay. Well, let's go to the bathroom anyway."
Of course, being the veteran mother than I am, I DID NOT bring a backup pair of pants or panties or diaper or anything. She usually does so well when we aren't at home. It is when we are at home that she's been having the problems.

Once we FINALLY got into the bathroom, I checked her butt,and sure enough, she had pooped. Great. I plopped her onto the toiled while I tried to clean her up to the best of my ability. The whole time she is sitting, I told her to try to poop more while sitting on the toilet. "I can't. I'm done." So, I cleaned her up, and we returned to the same aisle (much to my chagrin) so I could find my book.

TWO minutes later, Night yelled, "Keira is pooping!"

Whatever. I just let her poop. Her underwear was already dirty... Where is my damn book?

THREE minutes later, Night yelled, "I have to poop."

Great. Oh! There is my book!! At least I had something to read this time. Off we all went to the bathroom, for the second time within four minutes, talking about poop the whole way.

And, of course, we couldn't skip the puzzle play time all because Keira had poop in her pants. That would be crazy. We played for ten minutes then rushed home to clean her up.

Do you ever feel like a redneck or white trash? If you are white trashy, you know it, don't you? I'm beginning to suspect that I am...