I Have a Famous Stalker!

When I was about 10 years old, my parents took my sister and I on "vacation" to Florida. We stayed in a really fancy hotel, only because my parents were having a convention there. There were about 3 pools and a shopping mall, all in the basement of this fancy hotel.

One of the speakers at the convention was Terry Bradshaw. I remember that he was a speaker because I rode downstairs in the elevator with him and his entourage. I think he patted me on my head, but I may be getting him confused with another celebrity that I rode with in an elevator in my formative years-Robert Young. I was on my way to the pool of course, and he was on his way to a meeting.

Now, 21 years later, who should walk into my restaurant today? Yep. Terry Bradshaw.

Time to Move On??

It is with reservation that I post this RANT because the last time I went off in a huff, it caused some ruckus; however, this is my blog and I'll cry if I want to...

I know that times are getting tighter here in the USA, so I understand why I am not making as much money at work as I have previously. People are not going out to eat as often because there are more important things on which to spend their money. I get that. What I DON'T get it why, when people do go out to eat, they think that it is acceptable to leave shitty tips.

I used to love waiting tables. It is easy work, I get paid cash daily, the environment is fun and laid back, there isn't baggage to bring home, I get to talk to a lot of people if I want to-I don't have to talk to a lot of people if I don't want to. Even though some people may look down on serving as a lowly career, it can be a lot of work to coordinate all the tables in a timely manner; a job that I am very good at doing. I would also say that I'm quite personable, so waitressing has been a nice job for me thus far.

Now, on for the rant...
I have been getting really crappy tips lately. I would say on average, my tips used to be an average of about 20% of my sales, sometimes 18%, sometimes 22%. From that income, I have to tip out to my helpers-hostess, busser, bartender (even if I don't have any liquor sales) etc. about 2% of my sales (no matter what the actual income is from tips, I pay out 2% of the sales). Tips in the last couple of months have gone down SIGNIFICANTLY, and I really don't think that my service has been lacking.

I just think that people are holding a tighter reign on their money. The problem with this is that since fewer people are coming into the restaurants AND the ones that do come in are leaving less money, I get hit with a double whammy that is really hurting my family.

For instance, yesterday, I had a table with three women. Those three women sat at my table for over 3 hours during the lunch rush. The bill was about $9.00 for one of them; $10.00 for another; and exactly $15.54 for the other one. How do I remember exactly? Because the third woman left me a total of $17.00 (the other two's tip equaled about $4 combined). The third woman left me $1.46 for THREE HOURS of service, less than ten percent. Of that tip, $0.16 went to the hostess. How in the world could that be acceptable? If they would have sat for a reasonable hour, I would've been less upset, but THREE HOURS DURING THE RUSH? They were sitting at an 8-top table, so it could've been $20 or more that I miss out on--in order to get her $1.30.

I had someone today completely stiff me, so that it actually COST me money to wait on him because I had to tip out even though I had no tip. This gentlemen was angry at me, though, so I guess it is justified.... Oh wait, he was angry at me because he didn't read the menu, so maybe it isn't justified. Let me tell you my side of the story...

The couple was sitting at the table, with their menus pushed to the side when I got to the table (maybe a minute after they sat down-I saw them sit, and I went straight to the kitchen and got them water). Thinking they must be "regulars" and already know what they want, I asked them what I could get them. They both wanted eggs benedict with no english muffin. Alright! I put in there order, and someone else took them their food. I passed by them a couple of times while they were eating, and they seemed content. When I stopped to see if they needed anything, the man asked me, "Isn't there something else I can get instead of the breakfast potatoes?" I told him that there was, but that there was an upcharge. I listed some things; he asked the price; I told him I didn't know exactly (the prices are already in the computer, so I don't know exact, but I gave an estimate), but then I pointed out that he already has the potatoes. Now, I don't think I said this in a rude manner, but he did already have the potatoes, so it wouldn't really be instead of the potatoes anyway, would it? The man then proceeded to YELL at me because I should've read his mind when he ordered. This is what he said, "Well, since I ordered no bread, you should've obviously have assumed that I am on a diet, so you shouldn't have brought me the potatoes!" (Oh, really, I wrongly assumed that since you didn't want the english muffin with your eggs benedict, you just didn't want an english muffin with your eggs benedict...) I apologized and offered to bring him something, and he said no. The wife (who is obviously also on the diet) then asked me to bring her more HALF and HALF for her coffee. (what diet lets you have HOLLANDAISE SAUCE?)

This would've been easily solved if the man would've read the menu, where it states that the breakfast comes with the potatoes and that if he wants something else, he could get it if he pays more. OR if when the server brought him his food, he said, "Oh, I don't want those potatoes, is there something else that I can get for them?" The server would have changed them out, and I could've just charged him the difference. OR one of the times I walked by before he had devoured all of his food, he could have asked me and I would have probably still swapped his potatoes for something else. OR if I would have just read his mind to begin with. Of course, if I were the mind-reader type, I probably would have noticed that he wasn't going to tip me, and I wouldn't have brought him any food to begin with...

Anyway, this has turned into a longer post than expected. I guess he made me a little angry. So, as I was saying, the tips are getting slim for me and for all of my little server friends. I don't blame people for watching their money more closely, but if they can't afford the tip, then they shouldn't go out to eat. I can't afford to keep paying my hostess and bartender when I'm not getting paid.

Thanks for listening. I feel better.

Oh, and if, the next time you go out to eat, you can afford to leave your server an extra dollar, do it. You would be surprised how much difference that dollar makes.

Restaurant Advice

I don't know WHY it is necessary for me to point this out, but apparently I must.

It is rude to talk to your server when your server is talking to another table.

Seriously. This has happened to me quite a few times in the past month or so-I will be taking an order or checking on something at one of my tables and a customer from another table with just walk right up and start talking to me!

No more! No More, I tell you. It is rude and I won't stand for it any more.

Straws

Twice this week when ordering drinks, two different people said that they wanted a straw with their cokes. Why would you find it necessary to ask for a straw before you even get the drink? Are straws in that high of a demand that you are afraid the restaurant will run out? Even if I happen to forget to give you one, there are 12 other servers with no less than 50 straws in their pockets who would be happy to give you one.

Ordering your straw when you order your drink is just weird.

Experiment

I've decided to try something new. I'm wearing jewelry to work every day this week.

Let me explain the way it usually goes down-I roll out of bed, shower, put gel in my hair and comb it, then maybe look in the mirror, and then leave for work. It is hard to make yourself look pretty when you have to leave by 6:30am. (sometimes 6:00!!) I truly enjoy my sleeping time.

This week, the only thing I have changed is that I've put on a different pair of earrings and necklace for each day. Well, I did get some new polo shirts, but I don't really think that matters too much; a polo shirt is a polo shirt.

So far this week, I've made $72 more than I did last week at this time and $112 more than the week before that! Do you think it is the jewelry? Do people tend to tip their servers better based on appearance, even such a little change in appearance?

Hmm...

The Last Straw

More about waitressing...

I absolutely HATE it when people ask me for a straw-when my hands are full of drinks. Be patient. This usually happens when I have a large party and I'm holding a tray with one hand and passing out drinks with the other.

You'll get your damn straw, and if by chance I happen to forget and I start to walk away, THEN it would be okay to ask for a straw. It is impossible to hand out straws when my hands are full.

I know that it is kind of rude, but my usual response is kind of snotty, "It is in my pocket." I just feel like people need to be TAUGHT that I can't put my hands in my pocket at the same time that I am setting drinks on the table. People also ask me for cream when I'm passing out coffee; I can forgive this one a little more since you can't actually see that I've put it in my pocket, but don't worry-it is there.

Even worse than asking me for a straw when my arms are blatantly full, people sometimes grab straws out of my pocket! Whoa. Besides the obvious fact that my pocket is right in front of my hoo-haw, my money is also in my pocket. Not only do I not want you stealing it, neither do I want it to fall out all over the table and floor.

Who would have guessed straws would cause such a hullabaloo in my daily life??

I Waited on a Celebrity Today

Tyler Hilton was in town for a singing engagement and came in for breakfast today. And before you ask, he didn't pay the bill, so I don't know if he is a good tipper. His manager or whoever it was that was trying to schmooze him paid the bill, but he did leave a little over 20%, so I was happy.
In person, Tyler is super skinny and had really tall hair. He asked me to suggest a muffin for him, and I offered the double chocolate muffin since everyone loves chocolate (I don't like it, but I'm weird). He scoffed at it (politely), but then he did take me up on my second offer-the traditional yet very yummy blueberry muffin.
Malia and Shauna will be excited to know that when they came in, they sat at the same table he did today. Maybe THAT is why the deficient hostess wouldn't let them sit in my section-the celebrity gods had other plans...

Sweet Tea

Here in the South, there is no such thing as regular tea. There is sweet tea, which is pre-sweetened with sugar. There is unsweet tea, which is not pre-sweetened. There is fruit tea, which is made differently in all restaurants, but usually consists of orange juice and sweet tea along with other fruit juices. Then there is hot tea of course.

Being from the North, I would assume that when someone orders "regular tea" (or just tea) they would mean hot tea. Unsweet tea would be called "iced tea," and there is no such thing as "sweet tea."

While living here in Nashville, I have come to know that there is no consistency when it comes to ordering tea. Some people mean sweet tea when they say regular; some mean unsweet; and still some mean hot tea. Nobody ever means fruit tea when they say regular tea, but they do sometimes refer to fruit tea as "tea punch" even though the fruit tea at my restaurant is actually made with ginger ale and is called "ginger tea" rather than "fruit tea" anyway.

I'm a very adaptable person. I can call what I have grown up knowing as "pop" a "coke." No problem. I've started saying "ya'll." It is kind of fun, but if ya'll can't get it figured out, how am I supposed to know what you are referring to when you say "regular tea?"

One more question-what's up with ordering half sweet tea and half unsweet? If you don't like it as sweet as we make it, just order unsweet and sweeten it yourself! There is plenty of sugar on the table!

On to My Next RESTAURANT Rant...

Today I came home from work a little annoyed.

We have this little rule that if your full party is not at the restaurant when it is time to sit down, you cannot have a table. Yes, I realize this is very inconvenient for those of you who ARE at the restaurant waiting for a table. A very convenient way to get around this little rule is to be willing to order for the missing person. This will make everyone happy. As the person who is normally the last to arrive at little shindigs, I can appreciate the need to order my food ahead of time. I have a phone; I'd be happy to tell you what I want. This rule only applies to tables when we are on a wait. It is just rude to be a place-holder when there are other people who are willing to order food, eat, pay, and get out while you are just sitting there.

Here is a story about some pushy old women who bullied the hostess into letting them sit down at my table without the rest of their party:

I am what is known as the "opener" at my restaurant. I come into the restaurant about 1/2 hour before we open and I get all the stuff ready. I make tea; I cut lemons; I make coffee; I make back up coffee, lemons, and tea; I get silverware ready; I basically do a lot of shit that everyone else assumes just magically appears. I like being an opener because as soon as our waiting list disappears (and there are plenty of tables available to make sure we don't have to go back on a wait), I get to leave.

I, however, did NOT get to leave as soon as our wait was over today, due to these pushy old women-women who knew the rule and thought themselves above the rule, making my life a little bit miserable. The women sat down, with 3 other sets of silverware at the table. Knowing the rule, I kind of assumed the other women were either in the bathroom (we like to go in groups you know) or next door at the little shop. The women then ordered an appetizer to tide them over "until the others arrive". Whoa.

I took the order and got drinks then asked the hostess if she knew where the rest of the group was. She told me that they would be along in about 20 minutes, but one of the women was diabetic and NEEDED to eat. Now, I am NOT diabetic and don't really know too much about it, but I always thought orange juice was a good thing to tide you over-not spinach and artichoke dip. I was a little peeved at this point, but not too peeved. Normally, the main goal during lunch is to feed the customer and get them out in order to get the next customers to the table. I'm not saying that I rush people, but I do need to 'flip' the table in order to make some money. I'm not being greedy. I'm paying rent.

It was, however, close to time for the wait to be over, so I knew this would be the last set of people to sit at this particular table for the day. It is not that big of a deal because I could do my closing duties while the people finished eating, in theory. In reality, I did NOT finish my closing duties while the people finished eating. What did happen was 2 of the 3 people they were waiting for showed up and finished eating while I finished my closing duties. Then, as I am ready to drop off the check and go home, the last person shows up and orders, half an hour after I was FINISHED TAKING CUSTOMERS.

I then had to wait about a 45 minutes while the women chatted, all so I could collect their $4 tip and clean their table. I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the $4, so don't go getting all upset about that. I'm saying that I should not have been the one with this table. They should have waited until that last women arrived. When I again commented on the fact that the women were so late, the hostess just told me that we were almost off the wait by the time they sat down so other people weren't waiting for the table. THAT, was the point, though, wasn't it? We were off the wait so I shouldn't have had the table.

I was at work for over 8 hours today-on my feet running around for most of it. I was tired and just wanted to go home and be with my family. I'm not blaming all of my irritability on the pushy old women, just some of it. The hostess really shouldn't have picked an opener for these particular people, but I think that people who do take a long time at a table should compensate the waiter for their time. My time with my family is worth more than the $4 that the women left.

A few weeks ago, a fellow server had an even worse experience with this than I did today. Two ladies came into our restaurant at 9:30 in the morning. They left the restaurant at 4:00 in the afternoon. They left her $6. Even if you figure that table would have only 'flipped' once an hour and she would have only received $2 per table, she missed out on at least $12. $2 per table per hour is lousy, but that would've been twice as good as those two women!

I don't want ya'll to think that all I think about is money and the only reason I do what I do is for the cash. It isn't. I truly enjoy my job and have CHOSEN to be a server rather than any other profession. It isn't something I do because I'm too dumb to do anything else (I have a bachelors degree) or I can't get any other job. I enjoy working as a server. I would much rather wait on a nice and fun customer who tips normally (normal is at least fifteen percent, people) than a rude uppity customer who tips better.

But if you put it into terms of other occupations, when you go to work, you expect to get paid, right? How many of you would like to go to work one day and earn quite a bit less, just because someone felt like taking longer and not compensating you for it? If you take an abnormally long time at a restaurant, especially during busy times, please tip your server. We don't mind if you sit around and have a good time; we like it-that means you are happy and will return to the restaurant. We do mind, though, if it keeps us from paying bills!

Restaurant Etiquette

A while ago, there was a little discussion about being polite to servers. Since I spend A LOT of time in restaurants (okay-just seven days a week), I thought I might be a bit of an expert on the subject.

Being observant as I am (Josh is laughing out loud), I have come to notice that being polite to the server from the eyes of a customer is oh so different than from the eyes of a server. Since I don't think a lot of people are rude on purpose, I just want to let people, in general, know what I think is rude to me, your server.

I don't give a flying leap if you say please and thank you when you ask me for your food etc. I do, however, think it is extremely rude to tell me that you are ready to order then proceed to make me wait until you decide what you want. Here's my suggestion-are you ready to order? Then order. Not ready to order? Tell me that you aren't ready to order. I'll be back; I promise.

I find that a lot of times, the people who waste my time are the same ones that complain about their food taking too long to get to the table. How rude is that? By making me wait at their table while they decided what to order, they have slowed down my service to other customers, and ultimately to themselves.

In that three to five minutes that I stood in front of them I could've been: getting drinks for other people, taking food out of the kitchen, cleaning tables, getting desserts, getting take-out boxes, putting food orders into the computer, or collecting/returning money.

I'm not saying that I don't want to help you decide what to order if you need help; I am quite happy to give advice or explain the menu better. I just think it is stupid for customers to tell me they are ready then read silently in front of me for three minutes-or worse yet-have a conversation with each other while I'm waiting, but that rant is for another time...

If I don't stop now, this post will go on forever. Stay tuned for more helpful hints in making your (and my) dining experience better!

Hongo

One of the Spanish speaking workers at my restaurant wanted me to order an omelet for her. Since my Spanish kinda sucks and her English kinda sucks, she wrote it out for me to decipher. The omelet that she wanted had mushrooms in it, but she didn't want the mushrooms; instead she wanted chicken. She wrote, "No hongos, sub pollo." I understood everything but "hongos."

Thinking she would be able to help me with her English, she said that she didn't want fungus. Instead, she wanted chicken. Apparently hongo means both mushrooms and fungus, so when I was picturing mold or foot fungus, she was picturing mushrooms! Don't worry, we'll hold the fungus this time.

The One in which I Respond

Kat recently wrote a post about waitresses, and I've been meaning to respond to A. Wilson (read the comments under the post.) I just don't quite know how to put all my thoughts into words, but here goes...

Wtf? You were saying that the mere fact that I am a server shows you that I haven't chosen the right path and I have let opportunities pass me by? You were inferring that my being a server somehow makes me less educated than yourself, and that if you were given my opportunities, you would have a better life? Well, if I were saying that someone wasn't as smart as me, I would certainly make sure I had my grammar correct; yours was atrocious!

Even though I am just a server, I am in fact very well educated; I went to a reputable college and have tried out a few careers. The truth is, I enjoy being a server, and it is actually better for me and my family than being a teacher or dental assistant . It provides adequate income and incredible flexibility. One of the greatest things about being a server is that my occupation doesn't get in the way of my family (and I get to have a nose ring...).

More important than making money is being happy. Don't get me wrong-making lots of money helps in the happiness department, but so many other things influence happiness. The jobs that I work now make me happy, which proves that I have taken opportunities that fulfill me. How sad that people look down on careers that seem "lower-grade" to them because I am actually much happier in this career, perhaps happier than your "upper-grade" occupation makes you.

Potty Training Gone Wrong

So, I was at work (weekday restaurant) this afternoon cleaning up. The restaurant was still open, but I was finished with tables, so I was kind of incognito as I stuffed sugar into the little caddies on the table.

I see a little boy, maybe 3 years old, doing a little "potty dance," and then I hear the mother ask if he needs to go "potty." The boy says no. Then the mother says, (and I kid you not) "Do you need to go out in the grass?" He says yes and she swoops him up and out the front door. Surely I didn't hear her correctly. I look out the window, and sure enough, the little boy is peeing in our grassy area ON THE SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF OUR RESTAURANT! When he finished, she just brought him back in and went back to whatever she was doing.

wtf??

I guess if that is the only way to keep your child from soiling himself, more power to you, but wouldn't it have been better to at least try to get out by the parking lot or something? Very strange.

By the way, the restaurant is in Brentwood, so you would think the patrons would be a little more classy...

Not Nolensville Road!

I had a dream last night that my little weekend restaurant moved from its prestigious spot in Belle Meade to a...not so prestigious spot on Nolensville Road. For those of you not familiar with Nashville, Nolensville Road isn't bad. Well, parts of Nolensville Road are bad, but not all of it; Belle Meade, however, is where a bunch of old rich people live, so it is quite a jump.

When I asked the manager why we moved, he said it was because people were not doing their jobs at the other one, so he wanted to move us here and see if it made a difference. The kitchen was so small that the servers had to stand in the same area as the cooks-one of the servers caught on fire because of the open flame on the grill!

Also, I had to leave my section mid-shift and walk down the road for some reason. When I returned, nobody had noticed because the printer wasn't working properly, which meant that my receipts wouldn't have been printing out. Nobody else looks at my receipts anyway, so I don't know why this mattered, but it did.

I also had to change clothes in my car, right in front of three of my customers, who happened to be in their cars, and I wasn't wearing a bra. This NEVER happens. I am unable to leave the bedroom without a bra, much less my house! (Ok-I leave the bedroom, but not if anyone but my family is home, that's for sure)

So, who wants to translate?

Fanophobia?

Today, one of the customers at the restaurant had a fear of the ceiling fans. The hostess said I needed to rearrange the table so that the woman couldn't see the fans. Huh? I then thought that maybe it was someone famous who couldn't BE SEEN by the fans, but the table was in the middle of the room. It was actually the ceiling fans, which are all over our restaurant that she couldn't see.

I then thought that maybe she had an eye problem or something, but the hostess informed me that she had a phobia of the fans. I think if anyone would have a phobia of ceiling fans, it'd be me. We used to have bats (of which I have a phobia) fly into our house and hang off the ceiling fans. Okay, it only happened once, but it was quite traumatizing. I can still remember seeing one hang upside down and just rotate around and around and around...

Intrigued, I tried to google "fan phobia" and "fear of ceiling fans." This is the closest I came to any actual research on the topic.

I just don't understand how she walked through the restaurant, under the fans to get to her table. Also, if you were afraid of something, wouldn't you want to be able to see it so it doesn't sneak up on you?

Weird.

Pet Peeve of the Day

When I (as your waitress) bring your drinks, please don't ask for a straw. I have three million in my apron pocket. I will give you one. I have no attachment to my straws-I will happily give them all away; however, if you are person number two out of eight at your table, my hands are kind of full. I cannot reach into my pocket to give you a straw until I have set down all the drinks. Otherwise, the drinks will spill all over your head or back or arms or lap. Which is more important? Getting your straw RIGHT AWAY or keeping dry? If it is the former; don't worry. I have plenty of napkins to spare as well. I also have no attachment to my napkins, but again, you do need to wait until my hands are able to get the napkins for you.

Oh. If I do forget and happen to start to walk away without giving you a straw, don't be afraid to ask. :) I'm a nice girl.

I Got the Job, I Think...

Ever since I can remember, I have had this habit of hoping/dreaming for something, and in my head believing it will come true, then being devastated when it falls through. I think everyone does this to an extent, but I seem to count my chickens before they are hatched a little too often...

That being said, hey, I think I got the waitressing job that I interviewed for yesterday! It really seems too good to be true, so I need to hold off on my excitement until I'm sure. The manager was going to check my references. The server manager said that I could start a week from Tuesday, but I was never told. "See you then" or anything-she just said that she'd call me at the end of next week. Now, those of you who have had any exposure to the restaurant business should know that it doesn't usually work that way. Usually, you walk in, fill out the application, and get put to work. At one restaurant, I even started training less than an hour after filling out the paperwork.

Most restaurants are desperate for workers, but this one isn't. They have practically no turn-over (also unheard of in a restaurant), so it is usually difficult to get a job there; someone is going on maternity leave and someone else an LOA. The manager has worked at this restaurant for 14 years; the server manager has been serving there for 15! Wow.

They pay higher than the usual $2.15/hr. I would make $3.25/hr. That is quite a jump. Since it is a breakfast/lunch place, I should be home by 3:00-4:00 every day. Perfect! I should be able to make as much money as I was making when I was working with the dentist, maybe more.

So, wish me luck. I'll find out next week!

Yellow Rose and Blue Lights

For my birthday, one of my friends that works at the restaurant with me left a yellow rose on the windshield of my car. It was so nice!
Yesterday, which was the first time that I saw her, she told me this story. (She is a drama queen-always has a story-you know the type. Very entertaining) She said that she wasn't positive it was our house. She's never actually been here, but she knew which street it was on and which side of the street, which narrows it down to about 8 houses. She said she THOUGHT it was our Xterra in the driveway, but she wasn't sure, so she peeked in windows trying to see something that made her know it was my house. It was 10:30ish at night, I know Josh was here and awake, and I'm surprised he didn't witness any of this:
A cop car happened to be driving by at the time and saw her car pulled over (not in front of our house). He saw that she was peeking in our windows and pulled over. She then ran out to tell him what she was doing and he laughed at her.
Laughed. Then he went on his way.
Good thing she wasn't a thief! So, if you are a thief, apparently, just tell the cops you are trying to leave a present but don't know if it is the right house. They will probably laugh at you, but that is better than jail!

I Work at the Wrong Restaurant

Why don't I get to see drama like this?! The most we get is some old lady driving her car into the doors of the side dining room. I wasn't even there to see it! At least at Waffle House, I could've seen some nudity!

Celebrity Sitings

The little restaurant that I work in has been known to be host to a few celebrities, probably because it is usually quiet there. Every Saturday, Ralph (someone famous-I just don't remember who-I think he's on the radio or something. He's old), Ray Stevens, and Goober from The Andy Griffith Show all take up table number 5. They always have Linda as their waitress, and she spoils them with all their special orders; but pretty much other than that, she doesn't pay too much attention to them. Sometimes we make them feel special by having them sign autographs for our friends or something. They like that-they are old and not too many people recognize them.
I've waited on Reece Witherspoon and her husband Ryan Phillippe, which was a lot of fun. They were nice and quite quiet. He's a small guy. Faith and the family have been known to come in. We've seen Leann Rhymes a few times as well as Julie Roberts. I can't leave out Lisa Hartman Black either. Okay, her mom is the one that comes in every week, but Lisa Hartman has been in before too. She is also very tiny.
By far, my favorite (other than Reece, but she's not a regular) famous person to come in would have to be Keith Urban, mainly because he is Australian... He hasn't ever brought Nicole in, and his visits have been less frequent in the past few months. I just like when he comes in because I talk to his mum about Oz when she comes with him, and I like his accent. He has very white teeth. Anyway, Keith came into the restaurant on Wednesday. I don't work there during the week, so I missed it, but the manager told me he was there-the day before he checked himself into rehab... Must've been some pretty strong eggs we served! I told Josh this story and he said, "Wait. Isn't he Australian? It must've been a lot of alcohol!" You see, Aussies like their amber fluid! Of course, this is just a stereotype. Aussies drink a lot and yankees (all americans) all carry guns-everywhere. Can't say I know which stereotype is closer to reality...