Franklin Festival

This weekend is the infamous Franklin Main Street Festival. It is quite surreal that it is happening at the same time as the Stars Hollow Spring Festival! Here in Franklin we have many festivals, and most of them are the same, but this one is better because there are more booths-more booths of the same thing, but more booths none-the-less. I wanted to tell Gypsy that she could come run one of our 5 lemonade stands-no hay bales here.

Apparently, I'm Cinderella's evil step-mother because Josh stayed home and vacuumed (and vacuumed and vacuumed-our vacuum doesn't suck--too bad I didn't win that Dyson!) the den as well as steam cleaned it while the rest of us went to the festival. Josh is a wonderful husband; our den looks better than when we moved in, which was no easy feat, trust me!

On the way to the festival, Night was walking beside me, and he kept touching his butt. He then said, "I think I have a we.. we... we..."
"Wedgie?"
"A new wedgie."
"What's that?"
"One that I have a sweaty butt."
He was calling it a wet wedgie. How gross is that? Innocent but gross.

How to Keep a Clean House

We were at the mall food court the other day. We all chose different a different place for dinner and met in the middle to eat together. Night got a cheese burger happy meal complete with an American Idol microphone. He was disappointed because he wanted the "creepy hand thing" (applause-o-matic clapping hands) instead.

As he was throwing a fit animatedly describing why he needed the creepy hand thing, he accidently knocked off a few fries. He then said, "Oops. Someone needs to pick that up." I told him that it was okay and that someone would clean it up. He then said, "They need to have a dog here to take care of things like that."

Yes, that is how things get picked up at our house.

The floors are very clean, thank you very much.

Well, there isn't any food on the floor anyway...

What's that Say about my Fitness Level?

Now, I don't really consider myself to be fit per se, but I'm not too bad-I do pilates about 3 times a week (not bad unless you consider I aim for 5-6 times a week!), so I am somewhat flexible. Josh has been doing this program called P90X, and it has TOUGH workouts. Well, yesterday when I got home from work, I decided to show Josh that I can be tough too...

I tried to do one of his plyometric jumps and I hurt my ass. I pulled a muscle in my ass. It hurts so much that I would call off work if I could. I don't know if I can work. There is a lot of walking around in my job. A lot. I'm having trouble making it from the bed to the couch.

I'm about to try some pilates and see if that'll help. If not, I'm searching for some drugs. I don't think we have anything stronger than Aleve, but I'm looking anyway... Wish me luck.

The Book that Guilt Wrote...

I normally love Jonathan Kellerman books. I have a million books waiting to be read, and I recently picked one of his to be my bedside book. (I have a bedside book and a purse book. The bedside book is really a house book because I read it in the tub and the library too. Actually, I hardly ever get to read my purse book...) I added it to my librarything, and I delved in. Then got lost in the second chapter-not lost as in "lose yourself in a good book," but lost as in "what the fuck is going on in this book?!"

The book is written with two main characters-from two points of view, I think. The first chapter was written in first person; the second was written in third person, about a different character. I assume that the two characters were going to meet or something, but I couldn't keep it straight. I think if I could have taken the time to read it for an hour at a time or so, I would have gotten into it more, but they way it worked out, I would forget that it was written that way until I was a few pages into the alternate chapter and would have to go back because I had thought it was a different character the whole time.

There is no explanation that the book is written this way. Maybe it isn't even written that way. Maybe I just read it wrong. Maybe I am just a big dummy because I can't read a damn book and understand it.

Anyway, the main problem I had was that the book made me feel guilty for not enjoying it. I've read books that I have found fault with but continued reading anyway and still found enjoyment from them, but I just couldn't keep reading this book. I didn't like it. I felt guilty, though, since I am normally a big fan of Jonathan Kellerman. I admire the writing style-it is a great concept, just not one that I could follow.

To ease my guilt, I gave the book to someone at work. She loved it and finished it in one night. This eased my guilt and allowed me to go on to a new book. Since someone was able to enjoy the Jonathan Kellerman book, I don't have to feel guilty anymore! Weird but true.



Does my title make sense? I like the title, but I don't think it makes sense. I'm keeping it, though. Maybe that is what Jonathan Kellerman thought too-the book doesn't make sense, but he liked it so he kept it. I guess that is his prerogative, and mine too!

Guard Your Sushi

We went to a new sushi restaurant the other day. It was fun-I love me some good sushi.

You know how you start divying up the sushi at the end of the meal? Well, Josh and I picked out our last pieces just as the waitress came back to check on us. As I was telling her that everything was good, Keira stood up and shoved MY LAST PIECE into her mouth.

I never got my last piece of sushi, so now we have to go back. Had I known that my last piece was my last piece, maybe I'd be okay, but right now I've been left hanging...waiting for my last piece!

Melmo Follow Up

It turns out that I saved Elmo some grief! Not two days after Elmo's passing, Coochi Coochi Coochi TOOK ELMO'S SHELL. I'm telling you-he would have pulled him out if I wouldn't have killed him first! He moved into Elmo's shell, then moved back into his own, then moved back into Elmo's to stay...so far. So, is Coochi Coochi Coochi now Elmo?? Weird.

Night was fine with Coochi Coochi Coochi dying. Apparently, he'd already had a talk with one of his "friends" from the playland at Chick-Fil-A whose pets kept dying, so he was okay with it. I used quotes for friends because he's never seen her again, and he doesn't know her name; but according to him, they are really good friends!

I Killed Melmo!

We in Nashville have had a cold front pass through the area. After having weeks of 80 degree weather, it snowed yesterday. Since we liked being toasty, we had the heat on; but when I went to bed last night, I decided to turn the heat down since the kids were in their warm pj's and I was in my warm pj's. Josh wasn't home (he went to a concert), so I figured he could fend for himself.

I hadn't considered the hermit crabs. Elmo got too cold.

Night didn't seem too bothered by it though. We kept Elmo's shell, and Coochi Coochi Coochi is doing fine. I turned the heat up, and all is well.

I guess I was so worried about them killing each other that I took care of the problem myself!!

No Lovin Tonight

When Keira got up this morning around 3:00, I was ready to sit and watch tv for a few hours before work. She decided she was still tired, though. After sitting on my lap for about 5 minutes, Keira informed me that she was ready for bed:

"Do you want to go back to bed?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." I start to get up, and she leans forward to me, so I give her a little cuddle and tell her I love her.
She scowls, points to her bedroom and says, "Bed."

Oh. Okay.

Dyson Vacuum

5 Minutes for Mom is giving away a DYSON! I think it is a random drawing. I didn't even read all of the details, I just saw that they were giving it away and did what I had to do to sign up.

You have no idea how badly I want a dyson. They are so expensive, but I am sure they are sooooo worth it. Our carpet is atrocious, with 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 kids, and a wife who hates to vacuum (because I can't tell a difference when I do), you can imagine how it looks. I won't take a picture. I'm too embarrassed. Josh is good at vacuuming, but our vacuum doesn't suck very well!

So, go sign up for the vacuum, but honestly, I hope you don't win. I want to!!

Um, I'm entry number 853... Wish me luck!