Game Over

and I'm out of wine. What should I do?? Well, play another game of course. I'm leaving ya'll out of it, though. Maybe that is why I lost.

Damn

I went all in with top pair, Kings. The bastard won with 2 pairs. Out 4th. Oh well. Maybe I should play again...

3rd out of 4th

I'd feel so much better if 4th place would just leave! I would've just won with 3 of a kind: 3's. You can't really stick around with 3, 7, off suit, though, right?

4th Place, out of 4...

3rd place pays out....
#3 just went all in and won. Damn. I'm so close, yet so far down...

Not Bad

I changed Keira's diaper and clothes, yet managed to stay in the game, playing every hand.

Whoo Hoo

I went all in with pocket 5s and made $1, 300. I was short-stacked, otherwise I wouldn't have called the guy's all-in after I raised. Phew. I feel a little better about the game now, but who knows...

Q 8, off suited

not the same at all.

Still No Good Cards

This live blogging session sucks. I don't have anything to comment on...
My favorite hand while playing Texas Hold'em is Q 9, suited because it pays off well when it pays off. Of course, I haven't seen a Q9 or even a suited hand yet, so this is a boring post.

Not a Good Move

I held on too long, hoping for a flush. I lost, but ya gotta cut me some slack. Night is on the floor, wrapped in a blanket. Keira is "getting him" and giggling hystarically (spell??), Josh isn't home, and I drank my wine in less than 10 minutes. I WAS on the small blind...

Does that Math Add Up?

I've had a glass of wine... I think that is what I started with... I'm playing my second sit and go at .25 + .02... I haven't started off with a bang. 2, 9 off. Fold.

Live Blogging Poker

I've already played one game-online. Now I've signed up for the second and am hopeful. I started off with...$2.18. Now I have $2.09, after playing a $.25 (+.02) sit and go and winning 3rd ($.45). Wish me luck.

A Day at the Park

We went to Centennial Park today and fed the ducks. I have some cute pictures to show ya'll, but photobucket keeps posting the same VERY CUTE picture of Keira over and over rather than the variety of cute pictures I have. My flickr account is full for the month, but tomorrow is a new day, so I will show ya'll tomorrow!

Is That So Wrong?

It is 9:00 in the morning, and I'm thinking of taking my pill with wine instead of water. We are out of diet coke, and coffee is too hot to take a pill. It is my day off. That's not bad, is it??

Works For Me Wednesday

This WFMW post comes from my wonderful husband Josh. When we were getting ready for our trip to Austin, I was packing the cooler, full of sandwiches, snacks, and drinks. Rather than just putting ice in the cooler, Josh told me to put it in ziplock baggies-this way when they melt, there isn't water everywhere. I filled several baggies so the ice could be dispersed properly. Maybe this is what everyone does, but I hadn't thought of it!

For more WFMW hints, go to Shannon's site Rocks in My Dryer!

Little Things That Make Me Happy

*In no particular order-just how I think of them!

-Keira leans on me to cuddle.
-The local grocery store is going out of business and there are DEALS to be had!
-Josh cleaned the whole kitchen last night!
-Night asks, "Can you be with me?" (although I don't always want to watch Spiderman for the 100th time, it is nice to be wanted)
-My animals cuddle with me at night.
-Coffee
-Night calls me Mom
-I've got most of the "high scores" in Brain Age (gameboy)
-Seeing the video of Keira saying cheese
-Having a shitload of work to do here at the office, yet taking time to blog
-I get to go home for lunch
-Having a loving and supportive husband, even though I don't deserve him


Okay. Break is over. More work to do before lunch. I'm thankful for more things, I just need to keep working so this job doesn't become one of the things I am no longer thankful for...

Damn, I Hadn't Gotten Out There Yet

Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson have filed for divorce. I hadn't even driven out to the house that they may or may not have bought together. You snooze, you lose. It is true. I missed out.

Today's a Better Day!

Thanks for all the advice. I am feeling better today. I'm going to tweak the words of knowledge from everyone and try to continue having a good day, week, etc. I also successfully got back on my biphasic sleeping schedule last night, so I think that helped a bit too! I just didn't do anything when I was awake! I'll work on that, though!!

Working Theory

Ever since the day after the kids came back, I've been struggling with my depression again. It is a bit saddening because I know that by now my pills have kicked in, and I'm still feeling this way-that hasn't happened before.
This recurrence has made me feel like a horrible mother. I LOVE that my kids are back, and I have been enjoying them immensely; however, I still feel sad. I feel unable to do anything but sleep. I am worrying more and more about our finances, yet I am starting to dislike going to work. Before, I enjoyed work (you know, as much as one can enjoy work) even though I didn't like leaving my family. Now, I see work as a place that is making me leave my family, even though I just feel like sleeping when I am with my family!
I'm trying biphasic sleeping again (weird schedule got me off it for awhile, then depression...) because I love the way I feel when I am on the schedule, but I find that when it is time to get up from my nap, I don't see any reason to do so-I should clean, do pilates, be with Josh, work on my photo album, read, etc, but I don't feel like doing any of these things, so rather than get up, I just stay in bed even though I'm not necessarily tired.
So, after all the complaints, here is my working theory:
Before I left for Austin, I wasn't depressed at all. I was quite happy and busy. I was preparing for Austin and preparing the kids for their trip to Indiana. I was very happy in Austin. I even forgot to take my pills in the morning (now I never forget-it is one of the first things I think of in the morning, even though I don't feel any different after I take them; I just don't want to regress). After returning from Austin, I was looking forward to the kids returning. I cleaned the house, and watched some shows that I knew would be interrupted once they returned. Then they returned. I loved it, but now what do I have to look forward to?
I noticed yesterday when I went back to the restaurant for work, I was happier-I think it was because I was busy. I'm not the same kind of busy at the dentist's office. I tried to keep up being busy once I got home from the restaurant, but I didn't really want to be busy-I was tired!
So, my theory is that my depression will lessen when I find something to look forward to, and when I keep myself busy-but is that any way to live? I would like to be able to relax...
ugh.
any thoughts?

Here she is!!

Click on her to play a short video-one that she has wanted to watch again and again and again!

My Babies are Home (he looks a bit tired)

I have a picture of Keira from when they came home too, but I forgot to crop out Josh, and he told me not to publish it!

With the Beloved Vespa

With the Beloved Vespa, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

One day, this will be ours! I want a sparkley purple one!

At the Alamo

At the Alamo, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

To Josh, this is even better than visiting the "real" Alamo!

Breakfast with Jody

Breakfast with Jody, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Siteseeing in Austin.

Happy Thanksgiving!

After my post about making special days special, I sheepishly tell you that we are not celebrating Thanksgiving today! I am, however, VERY thankful that my family is home with me and safe. Josh finally pulled up around 11 last night. The longer they were gone, the more worried I became even though I had talked to them and knew everyone was doing fine. I had just realized that my whole world was in that Xterra, and even though Josh is a great driver (not a great passenger...), traffic was bad yesterday, so it worried me.

On the way home, I talked with Night, and he said, "Will you do me a favor?"
I said, "um, it depends..."
"Will you clean the living room and the den and your room and my room?"
"Okay..."
"Then when I get home I want to help you clean the kitchen. You can clean the top and I can clean the bottom."
"Sounds like a plan!"
I had already cleaned everything-what else do you do besides drink when the kids are gone?

When they did arrive, both kids were just waking up as I greeted them at the Xterra door. Keira smiled at me, which made me ecstatic because Josh said it took a good hour for her to warm up to him again-she was clinging to his mom. Night told me he was so excited to be at his new home (the name for our house since we moved in last February). He then walked in to the house and asked me if he could help clean. He was a bit delirious...
As silly as it sounds, his wanting to clean made me smile because that is one of the good memories he has of me and our house-cleaning the floor with Clorox wipes while I clean the counters. I hope that continues to be a good memory since I hate cleaning!

Night DID look like he grew-his legs are at least an inch longer! Keira looks different too-something about her face, but I can't work out what it is!

Since our last couple of weeks have been hectic, I didn't go grocery shopping. We are all just looking forward to having normal days again. It is weird, when you are single or even married without kids, a schedule doesn't seem so important, but having a messed up schedule when you have kids is odd. Even though I enjoy variety, it is a lot easier to be "normal" again, so just staying home with the kids today is a perfect Thanksgiving for me. We had breakfast burritos this morning, sandwiches for lunch, and who knows what we'll have for dinner. Maybe pizza? Sounds like an exciting Thanksgiving Dinner-are pizza places open tonight??

Josh is all set for shopping in the morning. The deals are mostly for us-for now, not for Christmas. We aren't good at keeping surprises from each other. Josh is the shopper, though. I hate the crowds, but love getting good deals, so it works out perfect for me!

the shelves

the shelves, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Ta Da!

under the sink, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

The pictures don't do it justice, but the bathroom looks so much nicer!

Family Time

When I first read this article, I thought, "What a waste of time," but then as I read further, I realized that the man did it with his two kids. That is nice. The kids will have something special to remember doing with their dad. It taught the boys to work toward a goal, which is something I have a hard time accomplishing. It makes me want to build the longest gum wrapper train or something. I just don't remember how to do it...
How much do you think it cost to get all those rubber bands? I wonder how they got it to Chicago. I also wonder how Wagner, the Guinness judge, got her job. I want to do that!!

Under the Sink

Under the Sink, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Shelves

Shelves, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Okay, Anna, here are MY shelves. We also do not have a cupboard, so we use these shelves and the space under the bathroom sink. Notice the eyebrow kit I am still too scared to use! I bought some baskets (oh, about 2 months ago) to organize this area, so maybe I'll tackle that tonight, if I can get into my sleeping schedule...

Let's see, what is in there? lotions, 3 kinds of mouthwash, babywash, pet spray (litter box is right by the bathroom), lots of band aids, some washcloths, deodorant... There is absolutely NO ORGANIZATION to it. There are 4 drawers in our bathroom that are chock full of disorganization as well: makeup, medicine, razors, hair stuff, more band aids (Night likes them!), xtra toothpaste and toothbrush... Wow. I'm getting to overwhelmed. I doubt if this will get clean tonight!!

Amanda's Wedding

, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Beautiful Day for a Wedding, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

With the Bride, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Yep. That's Amanda, originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Here are some pictures from Amanda's wedding and the reception. Sadly, I have none of Alex, the groom...
Yes, those are jeans that Josh is wearing. Since the reception was in the same hotel that we were staying in, he took the first opportunity to change into something more comfortable. I at least waited until after we ate. It was before they cut the cake, but it WAS after we ate!

I Found My Phone!

Yay! I'm not cut off from society. My phone was in my purse. I love my purse, but it is rather big and makes it easy to lose things. I found the phone, though, and I'm charging it. Let the calls begin.
I am also remembering why vacations are so difficult. I HATED coming back to work after my lunch break. It is an easy day at work, and there is no reason I should dread coming back, but I oh so enjoyed sitting on the couch in my own house for that brief 35 minutes... Luckily, I only have 2 more days this week due to Thanksgiving! I can make it.
I talked to Josh. He said that the kids are doing well. Night grew 2 inches in the week that he was gone, and Keira is now talking in complete sentences. I'm sure it is an exaggeration for both of them, but it made me even more excited about seeing them-tomorrow!

DrugHead Update

Well, do I have a story for you! Here's part one of DrugHead, and here's part two. Now, for part three. Who knows if this is going to stop at a trilogy or continue? only Mr. DrugHead knows....

While I was on vacation, I called the office voicemail, knowing that Mr. DrugHead was going to fill up the account. Of 15 messages, 11 were from him, and there were 2 hangups.
Of the messages I could understand, they all seemed to say the same thing:
He took the Darvon (kind of like Tylenol 3-I'm not into medicines/drugs-I don't really know the differences). He told Dr (on voicemail) that since Darvon has aspirin in it and he has asthma, he had an asthma attack. He said that he is in horrible pain and needs more lortab. He also said that he had talked to Tenncare (Tennessee's version of medicare) and they would pay to get the teeth taken out if Dr said it was an emergency. At the end of many of the messages, he said, "Well, I'll try Dr. on his cell phone again." (Dr forgot to block number when he answered a page)
Mr. DrugHead left this message 11 times!
First of all, we don't take Tenncare, so if they do pay for it, they won't pay us...
Second of all, Dr. won't say it is an emergency because there is another issue here...
Third of all, Dr. told DrugHead that he couldn't be seen here until after he got a paper from the ER saying what they did to treat his bleeding.
Fourth of all, HE STILL OWES US MONEY!

When I got back to work today, Dr. said that he had spoken with the pharmacy after writing the Darvon prescription, and the pharmacist said that they didn't have any, so Dr. said not to give him anything. Dr. talked to pharmacy later in the day (after getting asthma attack message), and they didn't transfer the prescription, so he didn't even take the Darvon. Then, the pharmacist said that they ran a search of Mr. DrugHead at local pharmacies. Since August, he has had 5 different pharmacies filling prescriptions, 3 or 4 prescriptions for lortab, xanzx, and percocet in the same day! One doctor even wrote a prescrition for 120 lortab! That is a lot of lortab. I took one after getting my tooth pulled and was out of it for 24 hours. My dr usually prescribes 6-12, no where near 120! One prescription for lortab was written for 60 of them. Then another one was dispensed 11 days later for 90.

We haven't heard from him yet today, but it is still morning... Dr. is giving him the boot today when he does call, which is nice for me since I don't want to have to talk to him!

How scary to have to rely on drugs to make it through. No wonder he can't afford to pay us.

I'm Back!

I had soooo much fun on our little vacation to Austin. Seeing Amanda again (has it been 2 years?) was wonderful. The wedding was beautiful, and I enjoyed getting to know some of her friends. I forgot what it is like to socialize. I kinda liked it! Amanda still kicks ass at cards-any game, but it was fun trying to beat her.
On Sunday, we met up with one of my Aussie friends who has been staying in Dallas, TX for a few months with work. It was very fun. We only had time to go out for breakfast before leaving for home, but it was better than nothing!
We stopped in Dallas too. We visited the grassy knoll and saw where JFK was shot. Now I want to watch JFK again. The first time I saw it, I was a teenager, and I got bored. I've matured (a little too much) now, so I think I could appreciate it better.
Tidbits from the way home:
We figured out the two states we missed! We got all 50 this time, without even cheating and looking back on the list from the trip down. We had missed Minnesota and Utah, both of which surprise me because we were thinking of movies/tv shows and where they were filmed or supposed to have as the setting. How could we miss both FARGO and BIG LOVE? That makes no sense!
I started watching "Assault on Precinct 13" on the way home, but the laptop battery died. We need a car charger for the laptop, not that we will be needing it again for a long time. It has been 3 years since our last trip, so we've got another 3 before we'll need the charger...
I slept most of the way home, so that's all I have to say about that.

The dog and cats were alive when we got home (we hadn't heard from our house-sitter), and they were very excited to see us. Hopefully the kids will be just as thrilled. Josh went to get them last night. They'll be back tomorrow afternoon-YAY! I can't wait.
I think I left my cell phone in the vehicle that Josh took. That sucks since we don't have a home phone...

That's all for right now. I'll post some pictures tonight.

Live from Austin

We are having a great time! Traveling was fun. It feels so good to be out and about. I didn't drive a bit. Josh gets a bit...mean when I drive. He's not a good "backseat driver" at all.
During the drive, this is what I learned from car games:
*There aren't very many Q's in our language-Josh beat me at the alphabet game (looking for letters on billboards) because of our lack of Q's.
*We are dumb Americans. We are missing 3 states. I'm dumber than Josh. He came up with more than I did.

After arriving in Austin, this is what I've learned:
*Nashville is a small city. Austin is a big city.
*The interstate here scares me, and it is impossible to spot something from the interstate then actually find it by getting off the interstate. They have signs that say "U-Turns Only" other than the normal "No U-Turns" signs that we are used to.

I miss my children terribly. I keep thinking about how they would enjoy this or that here.

We have some site seeing to do, so I'll write more later!

He Called AGAIN (scroll down for WFMW)

Dr and I were in the operatory with a patient. The phone rings. Since I am the only dental assistant, I am the only one to answer the phone. If we are in the middle of a procedure, I just let it go to voicemail, which is what I did. Then the phone rang again, right away. Knowing who was calling and knowing that he wouldn't stop, I went to pick up the phone.
"Um, yes (blurred speech) this is Mr. Druggie. Dr said he would call in a prescription for me." (Previously, Mr Druggie had called Dr's direct line (caller id sucks) and agreed to the lesser drug. He just wanted a drug.)
"Well, he is in the middle of a procedure now. He will call it in when he finishes."
"He told me he would call it in RIGHT AWAY."
okay. I doubt that. "Well, he is with the patient. When he finishes, he will call it in."
"I'm at the pharmacy right now."
"Again, he is still with the patient."
"Can I come in and pick it up?"
"It isn't written yet."
"Does he need to write it out?"
"Um, not if he calls it into the pharmacy, which is what he is planning on doing when he finishes with the patient."
"Well, I live clear across town."
huh? "Okay."
"This is ridiculous! mumble. mumble."
"Sorry?"
"I'm just going to come sit in your waiting room."
"That will just make the process take longer. Then he would need to write it out, then you would have to go to the pharmacy, then they would fill it. If you wait (of which you have no choice) until he is finished with the procedure, he can call it in and get it filled more quickly."
"How long will it be?"
"Maybe half an hour, but since he doesn't have me helping him, probably longer."
"Mumble mumble. click."

After Dr calls it in, I get ANOTHER call from Mr. Druggie.
**"When Dr calls in my prescription, will you give him the number to a different pharmacy for me?"
"He has already called it in."
"Okay, bye. Click"


**what'd I tell you?? he has them spread around town!!

Remember the Drughead?

You know the guy that called me Monday the 13th and left 13 messages about how he NEEDED to talk to the doctor because he is in pain? Well, yesterday (just Tuesday the 14th), he called and said he needed to see the doctor again! Whenever he calls, he is all slurry and disoriented. I told him that the doctor was at a meeting all day, the man said he was in so much pain and his gums were bleeding. Dr gave him a prescription for 12 lortabs the day before! I told him that if he was bleeding, he needed to go to the ER because Dr wasn't even in the office. (I think I told him this in our 3rd conversation of the day.)
Then he called back, no more than an hour and a half later, and told me that he went to the emergency room and they told him to contact us. Excuse me? Who has ever been in and out of an emergency room within an hour and a half, including driving time??
He then asked for Dr's pager number. Knowing that Dr was getting his pager battery replaced, so it wasn't working at the moment, I gave the guy the number. I even told him that he wouldn't be able to reach the dr.
I came in this morning to 3 hang ups from him. Well, I guess I can't PROVE that they were from him, but seeing as his was the only number on the caller id, I'm pretty sure that they were from him. I have his number memorized by the way. By 10:00AM, he had called me and asked for a refill then had his pharmacy fax me asking for a refill.
Dr. called pharmacy, and the pharmacist asked Dr if he is in a group practice since there were so many doctors writing prescriptions. Nope. Apparently, Mr. Druggie has been getting prescriptions for the same type of medicines for about 3 months now, but they are from more than 4 different doctors. (Wouldn't you go to several pharmacies if this was your MO? Maybe he does-that'd be even MORE drugs!)
My doctor called the patient and offered to write an Rx for Tylenol 3, but the patient refused. Doctor refused to refill prescription. This happened over my lunch break. Dr said that he left for lunch with the phone ringing-the man wouldn't stop calling.
It is 2:15 now, and I haven't heard from him yet. We'll see how the day goes...

I'm glad I'm not addicted to a drug. I know how much I love coffee and would be angry if I couldn't get that!

Christmas Traditions- WFMW

Even though my family is fairly messed up (Josh would use a different description, I'm sure), I do have nice memories of our Christmas traditions. If the kids weren't awake yet (ie-we were teenagers!), my dad would run through the house yelling, "Merry Christmas!" in his underware (not such a fond memory). Then, we would all get dressed. We were not allowed to be in pjs for opening up presents. Sometimes we got creative and dressed up in mismatched clothes, which was fine, as long as they weren't pjs. My mom would make homemade donuts and we had to wait until everyone was finished with breakfast before opening presents-even (this was the worst part) the coffee. From there, either Dad or one of the kids would pass out presents, one to each person then everyone would open them at the same time.
I think it is important for my kids to have good memories, so I am always trying to make special days special. Here are some of the traditions I have come up with thus far:
*Christmas pajamas. Going the opposite of my parents, I like to stay in my pjs, and I think it is neat to have special Christmas pjs each year. Josh doesn't participate (he can if he wants to, though), but everyone else gets a new pair of Christmas pjs each year, to be worn for the first time on Christmas Eve. We can wear them after that too.
*Christmas Pickle. I don't remember what country it is, but there is a country that people hide a pickle in the tree for other members of the family to find. My mom got us a glass Christmas pickle that Josh and I have been hiding back and forth. It is problematic trying to find hiding spots on a fake tree...but this is a tradition I want to carry on with my kids too.
*Christmas Crackers. When I was in Australia, we had Christmas crackers, and I thought it was so fun; it was originally a British tradition, but then again, wasn't everything?? So, every year, we put our crackers under the tree and snap them before opening presents. We then wear our hats until we get tired of them, which is all of about 2 minutes.
*Last year, we decorated and put out cookies for Santa. That was fun too, so maybe that'll be our tradition too.

So, Christmas traditions work for me! For more Christmas Works for Me Wednesday ideas, visit Shannon's site Rocks in My Dryer!

Orson Update Update

The Vet just called. Orson is doing fine, but she wants him to stay over night. WHAT? She said that he kind of acts like he's had a few martinis, so she wants to be able to keep him calm for a little while longer. I asked if there was anything WRONG, and she said that he was doing really well-she just didn't get to do his surgery as early as she had hoped, so he just needs to recuperate.
Thats fine, but we are leaving tomorrow night. He's going to think I snipped him and left him. I'm very cruel.
Not being male, these things shouldn't affect me quite so much as they do. You should have seen me bawling as I rolled Night back from his circumcision. He was only a day old!
I'm kinda jealous. I wish I were "snipped" since we aren't planning on having any more kids. The women in my family seem to be quite fertile, so I am a bit worried. My mom got pregnant with me when she had an IUD in. She had to take it out to keep from aborting me. My sister got pregnant when she was on the patch. Both have a failure rate of less than 1%! Here's to hoping the depo shot is the answer!!

Wow. This post has changed directions!! Um, Orson is fine. I pick him up tomorrow. Everyone is happy!

Orson Update

I took the cat into the Vet today to get neutered... Hopefully this will take care of all the problems we've been having. I know that Wanda (the girl cat) will be grateful because he chases her around and "attacks" her every couple of weeks.
He is already mad at me because I had to take away his food around midnight last night so he could have anesthesia. He was cussing me out this morning because he wanted some food! I don't know when he last ate-you can't explain to the cat that he needs to eat before you take the food away.
I'm nervous because I had to sign all these papers saying it was okay to put him to sleep and to do blood tests etc. I think I signed more paperwork than our patients do here at the oral surgeon's office! Sigh. I hope he is doing well!

I'm Finally Travelling!

I'm going to be in a wedding this next weekend (no, I'm not Katie's bridesmaid, even though she asked. I already had plans...). For the first time since moving back here to Nashville, I'm going on a road trip. My bones are aching to travel! We leave for Austin, Texas on Wednesday night. We are driving the 13hours, and I know that I am crazy, but I am looking forward to it!
Josh left last night to take the kids up to stay with his parents in Goshen, Indiana. Night was super excited. That was an 8 hour drive, and I can't say that I was jealous of that drive! He took them late at night so they would sleep...
Josh said that during the drive, Keira woke up in the middle of the night (like usual), and he found out what she would do if we didn't go into the bedroom when she wails. She kept hitting her brother. She threw her pacifier at him and pulled his hand out from under him (he was leaning on his hand while he slept). She wanted someone to play with! He's a pretty sound sleeper, so she didn't get her wish.
As for me, I stayed behind so I could earn my paycheck. For the first time in...well, for the first time, I was COMPLETELY ALONE in the house ALL NIGHT. What a strange feeling. One thing that I noticed was that if I chose to pick up a toy (no promises), that toy will STAY PUT AWAY! I can't even fathom the concept of a clean house that stays clean!!
I went all over the house and turned off all the lights except for the ones in the room that I was in. I'm saving money! Then, I sat down and ate a bowl of ice cream. No sharing. Well, Scully (the dog) tried to get her share, but I was steadfast.
Josh will be back tomorrow. I'm going to try to enjoy the quiet.

Monday the 13th??

Today is Monday the 13th. It is living up to its name: hectic Monday and unlucky 13. I woke up to a lonely house (Josh took the kids to Indiana to be with his parents). It was nice and not nice at the same time. I got to work and had THIRTEEN messages on the answering machine-all from the same man. He wanted to talk to the Dr and wanted pain medication. I don't know why he didn't page said Dr rather than leaving messages on a machine over the weekend. He hasn't been in to see the Dr for over 6 months. He owes the Dr money, and I've been trying to get ahold of him for months. Now he says he is in pain, so he NEEDS to see the Dr. Hmm..
Then, while I'm listening to the messages, I get a phone call from an irate wife of a patient. She said that she shouldn't have been billed for the extractions because her insurance covered it. In fact, she said we owed her money. It turns out that she was right.
When you (meaning a doctor's office) sign up for a PPO, you agree to accept lesser payment for your fees, based on whatever it is the insurance company decides to pay. In return, you are put on the list so more people are referred to you. So, you see more patients, but you don't get paid as much for each patient. When you are a new doctor, this is to your advantage because you build your patient base; however, you are doing more work for less, so in the long run, it is a bad system. Apparently, we have been on the list for this particular insurance company even though we do not have any paperwork saying we are. So, now we look like we were trying to steal money from the patient when in fact, we don't have any proof that we belong to the PPO list. Oh well, I'll refund the money and grovel. Next task-get us off the list... What a great start to a Monday morning.

Are You Gonna Eat That, Boarder Hodges?

Cutie
Originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Ever watch The Torkelsons? It was on in the early 90's. A single mom with about 5 kids had a person renting out the basement (I think). One of the little girls would always sit at the kitchen table when the person renting the room was eating a sandwich or a snack or something. She would look longingly at the food and say, "You gonna eat that, Boarder Hodges?" To which he would usually respond by sharing the food.
This phrase runs through my head almost daily. No matter how much she has already eaten or what I am eating, she stands patiently at my knee and looks at me, thinking, "Are you gonna eat that, Mom?"

Roller Coaster

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. One minute I am exhausted and can't bring myself to get up off the couch. The next minute I am planning adventures for the family. It is a strange ride. I'm trying to hold on and enjoy when I'm feeling up and make the downs less frequent!
I've learned my lesson-stay on the medicine! I'm also trying to keep busy, which I know will help. I just don't want to do anything, which makes it more difficult! I don't remember the last time I did pilates. I'll get back into the swing of things!

It is Creeping Up on Me

It is hard for me to write this, but I'm depressed. I have no reason to feel like this-I have a wonderful life, and I am happy. Yes, I am happy and depressed at the same time. I've been dealing with it for a while, but it is usually under control. Here's a little background about it.
Anyway, I kind of weaned myself off of zoloft. I don't think I've taken it for 1 1/2 months.
I am pretty in tuned with when I feel it coming on. Well, I say I'm pretty in tuned with it, but Josh would probably say otherwise! He notices it before I do, but he never says anything until I do. Can't say as I blame him-I wouldn't want to be the one to tell me I was acting depressed again!
A few weeks ago, my mom and her two friends were here to visit. It really threw our schedule off. Keira still hasn't gone back to her normal sleeping habits. I think this is when it all started. Having them here stressed me out because our house was crowded and we just have different lifestyles, so it was just kind of uncomfortable. (that is a whole post in itself)
At the same time, my dentist was having an open house and I was in charge of EVERYTHING, which also stressed me out a bit. I like to think that I am really easy-going and that nothing really phases me. For the most part, I am pretty damn easy to get along with and I am easy-going, so it makes me feel weak when I get this way.
Chances are, if I would've stayed on my zoloft, I would have had a "buffer" for when I got stressed out, but since I decided that I didn't need drugs, I've been slowly feeling more and more lethargic and less and less motivated. I don't think I noticed it until Sunday or Monday. I started taking my pills the next day.
I know that my depression is mild in comparison to most-I've NEVER felt suicidal and I have always kept up with my "outside" life-you know work and whatnot. However, the minute I step into the house, I want to either run to bed, lay on the couch, or take a bath. The bath sometimes is too much work... I am exhausted all of the time, even at work. I'm very sensitive. I hate when Josh leaves me. It was especially bad the first time, after Night was born. I would practically cry on the phone, telling him he had to come home. I still get that way, it isn't as bad, though, I don't think...
I'm on track for snapping out of it, though. I've taken zoloft twice. It won't kick in for a week or so, but I can kind of feel it making me better. Maybe it is all in my head, but isn't it what this depression shit is anyway?
I haven't been able to follow the biphasic sleeping schedule because I've been so tired. Also, a big part of biphasic sleeping for me is to be productive when I wake up in the middle of the night. Since I had no motivation to be productive, I saw no reason to get up!
I'm getting back on track tonight, though! I've learned my lesson-I still need the drugs!!
What a depressing post!! It is actually supposed to be uplifting because I feel a bit better. I haven't been able to write about this until now, so I guess that is a good sign!

Help

My cat peed on my cutting board. My mom got it for me when she went on a cruise to Alaska-it has a little bowl set in it with a special knife. It is very cool, and I haven't even used it yet. Apparently, Orson thought the little bowl looked like the perfect toilet or something. Anyone know how to clean it? Anyone know how to humanely murder a cat? I really like him, but he's been peeing out of his kitty litter box quite a bit-the laundry basket and one of the kids' storage containers were his objects of choice before my beloved cutting board. Luckily, he goes for the empty containers...

Works For Me Wednesday

My son and daughter share a bedroom. There is a clothes storage issue in the room. They have a small closet and a dresser. Night (my son) has the closet-two rods; all of hanging clothes go in the closet. He gets the bottom two drawers of the dresser-for pjs, socks, and underware (he's a big kid and wears big kid underware). My daughter has the top drawer for her socks and bibs etc.
We were having a difficult time with storage for my daughter's clothes. Instead of having a fourth drawer, the dresser has doors and a shelf. So, I folded all of Keira's clothes together in outfits and piled them on the shelf. In theory, this was fine. In reality, when my son or husband (okay-I admit: sometimes me) got clothes for Keira, they would pick two halves of two different outfits, leaving the dresser a mess, with Keira having no matching clothes.
So, I put the outfits in gallon freezer bags, one outfit per bag. Anyone can pick a matching outfit; then the empty bag goes in Keira's dresser drawer so I can find it when I put away clothes. I know that some people use this technique when travelling, and now I've found that it works at home as well!

Sorry-no photos: I'm at work and didn't think about taking a picture when I was at home!
For more WFMW hints, visit ROCKS IN MY DRYER!

Too Much Spiderman

Night has been playing Spiderman on the Gamecube. He is only 3, so he doesn't really know what he is doing, but he has a lot of fun swinging from his webs. The game is kind of like a movie because there is a lot of dialog in it. Night has been incorporating this dialog into our conversations with him.
He told Josh that Aunt Mae and Uncle Ben raised him like parents did and he is like their kid.

We've been having difficulties trying to get him to leave the pacifier alone, so we bought him a Spiderman lego toy thing if he agreed to throw away his pacifiers and not to "borrow" Keira's pacifiers. No problem, right?
Well, he'd been only having it at bedtime, so that is when the screaming takes place. Luckily, my bedtime is before his, so I don't have to deal with it. Last night, Josh walked into the kids' room when Keira was crying-to check on her. Her pacifier was missing...it was in Night's mouth, who was sleeping soundly in his own bed.
Josh was telling me this story after work today, and I was trying to let Night know that it wasn't "cute", so I looked at him and asked him if he stole Keira's pacifier. He just hid his head behind the couch. It was very cute, so I had to turn around so he didn't see me smile. Then I tried yelling at him with my back to him. It didn't work. He wasn't looking at me either.

Then he informed me that he just wanted some old fashioned justice. (a line from the game)

How Could You?

I don't understand how anyone could be so cruel as to put a PUPPY IN THE OVEN! You know that the dog had to be barking or scratching or something, right? I can't even imagine. The wife filed for divorce! Well, I should think so!

Grammar Question

Why doesn't dammit have an N in it? Or does it?

I Work at the Wrong Restaurant

Why don't I get to see drama like this?! The most we get is some old lady driving her car into the doors of the side dining room. I wasn't even there to see it! At least at Waffle House, I could've seen some nudity!

Paranoid, Perhaps with Reason

As I was driving to work (restaurant) this morning, I passed a police car. Well, I passed quite a few police cars. Every other car in Franklin is a police car. I'm not complaining at all-I like that there are a lot of cops around. Anyway, as I passed the police officer, I tried to look "not guilty." I don't know why I tried to look not guilty; I wasn't speeding or doing anything wrong. Then, less than half a mile later, I pulled into the Kroger parking lot (to buy clearance Halloween candy for the other servers). I pulled into the wrong way of the entrance. It was one of those entrances that have concrete up, so if someone were coming out, I would've run right into them. Luckily, it was seven o'clock in the morning, so there wasn't any traffic. Then what do I do after making that ILLEGAL move? I pull into a handicap parking spot to run into the store. I did see that it was handicapped before I got out of the car, but it just made me think that maybe I should be careful around the authorities. I made those two attempts at getting put in the slammer all within 3 minutes of seeing the cops. Wonder what else I do during the day when I'm not paying attention...

Bunco Night

Well, meeting with the girls was a blast! I loved joining the group because everyone already knew everyone (except me and Mandi, but she knows Kathy) and everyone was so comfortable with everyone; it was just a great time. I don't remember all the names, but I've been cheating and reading blogs about the night, which helps me remember who all went!
There was a lot of talk about people I don't know, but the stories were very entertaining. We didn't play bunco, but I don't know how anyway. I didn't contribute too much to the conversation, but I didn't know the people we were talking about!
Why I think the bloggers from last night cool:

• No one thought twice about my being there. They didn't think it was strange that a stranger joined the mix-they just treated me like one of their own.
• Kat makes yummy food.
• There was a lot of swearing. I felt like an adult.
• The word trifecta was used twice...by two different people
• Other adults have messy homes and are poor (not Kat! this was just gathered from conversation, not demonstration)
• Everyone had different opinions and shared them without hitting each other.
• Everyone was themselves (at least seemed to be)
• I laughed a lot. A lot a lot.
• I had an irrational fear that everyone would be psychotic and judgemental but the conversations of the evening proved contrary
• In theory, they like to play bunco...I like games, so in theory, I like bunco.
  

There are more reasons, I'm sure. I just can't think of anymore at the moment...
I had such a good time. I'm now putting faces and names with blogs, which is also fun. I would like to join them again. Can I? Can I?

I Lost my Personality

Yesterday afternoon, I was reading a local blog by Kat Coble, and she had invited her blogger friends (only the girls!) over to her house to play Bunco. I just happened to be home early from work and was reading the blog near Josh. I said something about how it would be fun to go because I never do anything social, don't have any friends, and like to play board games. Then I said, "Too bad I'm too afraid to go."
Josh told me I should go. I told him that there was no way I could go because I was too much of a pussy, especially if I had to go by myself. This banter went back and forth until he reminded me that by saying I was scared I wasn't being myself because it really wasn't in my personality to be scared of something like that and that I should go.
So I wrote Kat an email asking if she didn't think it was too creepy, (you know-a total stranger in your house when you are meeting with a few friends-it is kind of creepy)I would like to go. She said I could, and off I went.
On the way there, I started thinking about how weird it was that my reaction was to be scared. I've done a lot of things in my life, many of them by myself, and it had never phased me to be scared or intimidated.

• I went to Australia for a year, knowing no one.
• I moved here to Nashville, knowing no one.
  

Okay. I can only think of 2, but they are big ones, both of which never even phased me to be intimidated. In fact, when asked how I could do that without knowing anyone, I was confused as to why it would be an issue.
When did my personality change? What happened? Once I thought about not really being a pussy, I stopped feeling intimidated and nervous and started really looking forward to meeting people.
Let's see-when is the last time I did anything remotely social? My family (Josh, me and the kids) walked to a nearby restaurant and met my college roommate (from Indiana) and her husband for dinner. They were passing through Franklin on their way to a wedding in Florida. The event lasted about an hour. I hadn't seen my roommate for about 3 years and haven't talked to her since. This was about 4 months ago.
Time before that? I went out with my wonderful friend Amanda from Texas who came up to visit when her brother graduated from MTSU. We went to Jonathan's Grill for lunch. This was before I was even pregnant with Keira, who is now 13 months old. How sad.
I've long known that I have lost my identity, blaming it on working all the time or spending all the time with my family. Josh encourages me all of the time to get out and do things, but for some reason, perhaps the same reason that I never buy stuff for myself, I never do anything. Somewhere along the way I forgot that I really like going out and meeting new people and establishing friendships. I lost a part of my personality. It took Josh and Kat Coble to remind me that it was there. Thank you.

Thanks

Thanks for all the help with Excel...Oh wait-nobody helped me. I forced quit it. When I pulled it back up, the stuff had been saved :). Then it happened AGAIN. This time the new ones weren't saved. Alas, maybe I'm doomed to unorganized coupons. They are organized in the little folder thing, but I can't remember what I have and when they expire. Oh well-there are worse things. Maybe I'll give it another try.

I Need Help with Excel

I am trying to organize my coupons in Excell (I know-I'm nerdy). It is one of my being awake in the middle of the night projects. I somehow selected 2 sheets at the same time or something. An error has come up that says, "You cannot make changes to a list when mulitple sheets are selected." Okay. How do I unselect the other sheet so I can make changes? It locks up whenever I do anything. I click okay and try to figure out how to unselect it, and then the error pops up again. I'm stuck. It won't let me save it. It won't even let me close it. Computers are dumb.

Halloween

Here are some pictures from last night. We had a great time! Night had a ghost costume but decided to be a zombie instead. He didn't want to get his arms dirty, so we had to wash off the blood. It is hard to get good pictures of Keira. With the flash on, she blinks and looks like she is on drugs. With the flash off, she is blurry and looks like she is on drugs...

Zombie Dad and Son
Originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Zombie
Originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Cheetah
Originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

Cat
Originally uploaded by mari_ickes.

It's Works for Me Wednesday Time!

Well, I don't have anything to post, but my friend Anna does-so here's her hint:

(Almost) Chemical free surface cleaner:

Boil water in a saucepan with fresh rosemary and mint to make a very strong tea.

Let it cool and strain, retaining the tea, discard the herbs.

Fill a spray bottle with the tea and add several drops each of Lavender and Tea Tree Oil (or any combination of antiseptic oils), a splash of white vinegar, and a small squirt of washing up liquid.

Much nicer on the nose than chemical cleaners, and suprisingly effective on most cooking/kitchen mess.

I haven't tried it yet, but it sounds like it will smell nice!!



By the way, we (Anna and I) have started a blog about our biphasic sleeping experiences, which was my WFMW hint last week, so if you are interested, stop by!


For more fun/interesting/helpful hints, stop by Shannon's blog.